Help me please?? My parents and sister say they are worried about me?
Okay well. . . yesterday was terrible and I have no idea what to do. My parents, my sister, and I are all in different states so this all has occurred over the phone. I got engaged last Thursday to a man I’ve been with for a year, and he’s everything I could want. We see life the same way, he makes me laugh, and we know how to work through problems. My family has only met him twice, but apparently they do not like him. My sister is the one who Introduced us. She said tonight that she knows he’s in debt (I have all of the passwords to his bank accounts and at 27 years old he has 30,000 in investments, owns a house, and has 15,000 in savings). He also makes 65.000 a year. Money is not important to me anyhow. But that kind of debunk their “he’s in debt” theory. Then my sister told me she cried because she did not think he was the guy I’d end up with. That made me feel great. . . . I honestly do not know what’s wrong with him. . . . I think he’s perfect and I love him so much. He’s never lied to me, he’s made good on every promise he’s ever made, and he has lifelong friends. (Unlike my sister’s husband, but that’s another story). My parents think I have not known him long enough. They heard the debt thing from my sister and my dad’s on this rampage that my fiance will not be able to take care of me. I’m graduating college and Saturday and want to move in with my fiance. He’s in the military and lives about seven hours away from me. We’ve been talking about moving in together for about six months now. My fiance is not concerned about me finding a job right away, and we know he makes enough money to support both of us. We just want to be together. He’s being deployed in about six months, and I want to live with him at this time. My parents are livid. I do not think I’ve done anything wrong, but I do not know what to do. My dad is an alcoholic who physically abuses my mom. And both of my parents have emotionally abused me my entire life. Throughout the year I’ve been with my fiance he’s urged me to go to counseling because of the effects my parents have had on me. In their twisted way I know that they care, I just feel like I’m old enough and smart enough to know what is best for me. My whole family is coming here for my college graduation this weekend. I do not know what to do. I’ve considered taking the ring off and just avoiding everything and acting like it did not happen, and then moving in with my fiance and cutting off my family What would you do? Please help!
Well, you’re an adult now, time for your family to accept that fact.
They can voice their opinion, but in the end the choice is still yours.
My fiance and I have been together only a year and are engaged. It’s not the length of how long you’ve known them.. hell I knew people that knew a man his entire life, not one of them knew he was a pedophile. So see time doesn’t matter. he is good to you and upfront with you, that’s what matters. And even if you both did struggle to make ends meet, that is life. Your parents don’t seem to have room to talk about how he can take care of you and all.. not judging them but I know what that life was like. you are a grown woman. You wear your ring proudly. If they don’t like it they can leave and never talk to you or they can get over it, grow up and support that you are happy!
I say do what is going to make you happy. Your dysfunctional family (no insult here) will always have some drama stirring. Please don’t let them ruin this for you. You don’t owe them anything. Sounds like sister may have some jealousy issues. Spend all the time you can with the man you love before he is deployed, and have a happy life. Best of luck to you and your fiance.