Posts Tagged ‘time’

What happens if I fail?

Me: middle aged, married dad with severe ADHD, anxiety disorder, zero confidence and zero self-esteem. Over the past 10 years I’ve managed to bury myself in debt, get myself into real dicey territory regarding my employment, and thanks to the pessimism and self-loathing that I’ve developed from this decade-long run of personal failure, I ‘ve alienated my wife. Sunday. . 3 + years of intense counseling a big ol ‘handful of meds every morning and it all comes down to this: I need to try harder to stay focused at work, do better at sticking to diet, exercise and my personal budget. If I can maintain this pretty much flawlessly for several years, * maybe * I’ll stop hating myself, * maybe * my wife will welcome me back and * maybe * I’ll get out of job / debt trouble. Ignoring the facts that I’ve tried all of this countless times before and that I’ve never been able to sustain any effort for more than a month or two, and that there’s no timeline, no milestones and no dividends along the journey to help keep me motivated, here I go again. * * Maybe it’ll work this time. What if it does not? I’m pretty much in all this time, I’ve exhausted all of the medical / counseling / lifestyle reseources out there and my wife’s watching my progress very closely. I think we agree that failure this time means that this is something beyond my capabilities. What then? What if I fail yet again to anyone who’s answered, or Proposes answering, that I should pray and trust God: God / Jesus spoke to me about this a long time ago and made it perfectly clear that He has absolutely no intention of helping me at all, in any way.

Should I get a minor in something to have a better chance of getting in to grad school?

I am a junior studying psychology at USF. I plan to go to graduate school for counseling, Particularly in rehabilitation and mental health counseling specializing in marriage and family therapy. I do not plan on getting a doctorates as I want to start getting experience as soon as possible and it’s not financially logical (+ cost of doctorates loss of time I could be working + little difference in counseling $). I have spoken with a few people in the field on this matter. I have a third 9 GPA and plan to get experience volunteering at a rehab and mental health facility (this was my first semester as a junior, so I’ll have some time to volunteer). According to my professors I am a great writer and speaker, so I should do well with the essay and interview. I should be able to complete my bachelor’s with no debt. I hope to continue this by working for about 1 to 1 1 / 2 years to save money for grad school while being supported my boyfriend (soon to be husband). I also plan to study and / or take classes for the GRE during this time. Given all of these details, I should get a minor with my bachelor’s as well? What I really mean is: Is It Necessary to earn a minor to get into grad school majoring in counseling? I have no idea of ??how many degree students have minors in that area. 50%? 80%? I go to a smaller campus that is a branch of USF that only offers bachelor’s, so I do not get a chance to talk to degree students. Because of the limited amount of classes available, I feel I would be even more limited than I already am by going for a minor. I’d rather take whichever classes interest me to Fulfil my graduation requirements, but I do not want to jeopardize my chances of being accepted into the program that I want to get into the most. Thank You (So Much!) Sunkisthappy

Need help w/ my wife (Extended)?

Revised cliff notes of my marriage: See other postings to get the most information # 1 post My Wife Will Turn Into My mother-in-law? # 2 post? Need some help with my wife? Both posted 01/25/2007. My wife has depression and is on medication. For the last 5 years of our marriage my wife has continued to lie, steal, deny, stubborn, difficult, (on things that made no sense) and maybe cheat (not sure on that one) I have two stepchildren, she? S been married twice, my first time. Treat them good. She moved from the south to the NE where my job is. Within a month my wife noticed undermining me / the family. So much that my step daughter underwent counseling for depression (cutting? Can only be happy in the south? Her mom? S doing, and unsure of her sexual orientation. Spent thousands but, I was she worth it to work & what she to be the home keeper (One of our pre-marriage agreements) did the opposite till I said to her working OK, now doesn t want to work (and isn t) Gave her plenty of cash & a credit card for emergencies . Used card that 15 to 30 times a month for 10 months (till she gave it back / I said enough, I was very kind and loving) all while I am tending to my terminally sick mom (talk about blindsided). Went through many more card methods nothing worked (no trust / keeps lying and stealing now but in other ways) Found out that my wife has a secret bank account. Within six months, MIL (who has mental problems) hit me up directly for money ( Which I gave to her) and later I suspect that she expected monthly hand-outs because I have a good job. (Wife Denies all,) Found out I was going to lose my job in a couple months (airline down cycle) she refused to get a full time job because? I don t want to do any of those jobs? Said it will be temporary, and what needed to get us through difficult this time. She refused to get a job. Said So let?’s keep the kids (hers) would not in private school and keep the house. Still? t get a job. Sold my motorcycle, golf club membership and my SUV to lead the cutbacks. She Demanded new furniture while I downsized. Luckily I found a job. Said she could have a reversal (before marriage) not true. (I think she knew that). I know now that she will not be able to have children. (she didn t know that). Maybe I thought by having kids w / her may save our marriage. Sounds stupid, even as I write this. There? s been many good times, she is good looking, is a sweetheart, sex is fine, all my family & friends likes her (but they don t know any of this). Just this week found out that my wife has so secret PO box, she got three more cards in her name, pays her debt cards w / my (families) money and is hiding the mail again. I could write about her behavior for hours. I would kindly forgive all this stuff but it keeps on happening. It?’s been bottled up for years except for our two Councilors. I? m afraid nothing is working. So to be fair, the 1st year of our marriage I was calm and understanding. But by year two, three and four, her behavior had not changed and there was many heated fights about lying and stealing etc couldn? I know yelling (or yelling back) is wrong but I t take it anymore. However on year 5, I controlled my tone and watched as she was the person who started the antagonizes arguments and yelling. She continues (in different way) her destructive behavior. Went to counseling I did my part but she agreed to her part Never did it, lip service only. I was glad to see that I wasn t 100% to blame for my frustrations (still understand that being rude is wrong). I guess I? m still looking for input on my marriage. Is this my fault in anyway is I don t think so but I want to be sure before I consider a divorce. Do I stay in this mess? PS Thanks for all the responses so far.

I need help I am going crazy ?

I am 28 years old and married I have two beautiful little girls I work in a near by factory and I am going crazy I have to pick up every bit of overtime I can find I find myself working 84 hours a week most of the time I So go to school partime I am struggling to make ends meet we have exhausted every credit card we have and we are now 29 000 dollars in the hole I am so tired I need help my last hope was to go to consumer credit counseling and the told us we were to far in debt to help What do they want me to do to loose my house Yes I realize this probably could of been Prevented But what can I do I am at my wits end I need hope or just a break

Would you consider this an affair?–Your husband starts talking to a woman at work all the time.?

Then a few months later he tells me he does not love me. And I find out he is talking to her online all the time. We struggle for a couple of months and go to counseling not sure if we are going to stay married. He says it is all my fault because I spent all of our money and we are in financial debt because of me and that is why he does not love me, and that loving him not me anymore has nothing to do with this woman – she is just someone to talk to about all the issues we are having. In the end he did Decides he wants to stay married to me, and we work it out with some counseling. Things are good now-but the thing that bugs me is that I consider what he did an affair. He does not consider it an affair because there was no sex He is sorry he told me he did not love me, but he never will admit that what he did what an affair, said he is sorry for never for it, and says he was mad at me for spending our money and that it was my fault. Would you consider this an affair?

Who has used CreditSolutions.com?

And how were your experiences, please? My husband and I have had a real hard time with jobs these past few years and we would love to pay off our debt but we can barely afford the minimum payments. We do not want to file for bankruptcy and have heard about credit solutions. com, please, how were your experiences and it is like consumer credit counseling? Does it report negatively on your credit report? Thank you

I am never happy. I am a Christian. I have a nice house. Decent job. I am losing my faith.I always wanted?

I have always wanted to be a pastor, but have always struggled with ‘am I good enough’ and ‘money for my family and future’. So here I set, with debt, a nice house, a decent job that I do not like and have a hard time giving time to. I have two kids awsesome. My wife is seriously depressed after the second child and not doing well in many areas. I am extremely committed to the marriage. It seems that my life gets worse year ever and I attribute it to my not making the decision to go into ministry. My father was a pastor. I have been to counseling, psyciatrists, small groups, etc. Lately, especially at work, it seems that all relationships that I make miserabley fail. If you asked people closed to me, they would say I am great. I do not like hobbies, sports, TV. All I do is think. . . think. . . . think. . . I feel that I am the only person this way. Being a strong Christian makes is 100x harder because ‘God is supposed to be enough’. All I want to do is sleep and be alone. I have always wanted to be a pastor, but have always struggled with ‘am I good enough’ and ‘money for my family and future’. So here I sit, with debt, a nice house, a decent job that I do not like and have a hard time giving time to. I have two kids awsesome. My wife is seriously depressed after the second child and not doing well in many areas. I am extremely committed to the marriage. It seems that my life gets worse year ever and I attribute it to my not making the decision to go into ministry. My father was a pastor. I have been to counseling, psyciatrists (on meds) small groups, etc. Lately, especially at work, it seems that all relationships that I make miserabley fail. If you asked people closed to me, they would say I am great. I do not like hobbies, sports, TV. I can not find anything I enjoy. All I do is think. I feel that I am the only person this way. Being a strong Christian makes is 100x harder because ‘God is supposed to be enough’. All I want to do is sleep and be alone

How to deal with a needy friend?

One of my good friends has been suffering with depression for some time now. We’ve been through a lot, and I genuinely care about her and her to feel better but she does not seem to want to make effort to change her life. She’s 23, she smokes a lot of pot, lives at home with her mother, does not have a job or go to school, she’s in major debt, and she recently got addicted to coke. She calls constantly and tries to give me whenever I guilts tell her that I’m not interested in hanging out. I’ve tried to push her into counseling but she screamed at me and told me that I was a selfish bitch, who could not listen to her friends problems. It’s not the case, as I want to help but in dealing with my own life and am recovering from anorexia. Whenever she calls and I tell her that I’m not interested in drinking my sorrows away at a bar, she then starts going off at me and telling me that this may be the last time we talk, because she’s considering suicide. I do not know how to help. Ideas

Low income home buying problem?

Originally posted March 27, 2009I fall somewhat in the low income category ($ 700/mo.) In which I am self-employed selling gifts and gift accessories plus media with very little debt ($ 2.750), and I did not think that would preventDefault me f / home-buying. I know low-income discrimination is not a crime – but it should be. I have been working with two agencies (Housing Authority, Referred to as HA and Affordable Housing Corporation., Referred to AHC) and they are now saying I am no longer eligible for a $ 15K mortgage when I was pre-approved for a $ 25K mortgage. After speaking with the HA says it could be up to two years for the HA to even consider getting a Section 8 home ownership vouchers, and AHC is saying I would have to make more income and / or Significantly reduce debt. I have met or exceeded all requirements. I have even tried the recommended credit counseling and it will not work for me at all Another option is a “silent co-signer” that will not be living in my first home. What’s even worse – before I made the decision to buy my first home which I got into a nasty dispute with my landlord over television providers and had no other choice but to install an outdoor antenna (my television provider now, and how I got that is not exactly legal) to get certain stations that are no longer on my cable system, which i had to cancel Subsequently after 13 years. Luckily, I have not been evicted from my current home. What I’m really worried about is by the time I get approved to buy my first home, I’d potentially be homeless. I am pretty much out of options legally and may have to do something ridiculous, such as prostituting. I already have two jobs (three technically with the freelance journalism). If I do get a “fourth job”, it would prove to be disastrous to my family. Last time I checked, I just found out that my rule for affording a house is to take out a mortgage no more than 2-3 times my annual income ($ 16K-25K). Last time I checked, no more than 30% of my big monthly income for a housing payment and no more than 41% for all debt service. So, the 30% figure is $ 210, Which has to cover principal, interest, taxes, homeowner’s insurance and private mortgage insurance. The 41% of the gross income is $ 287, $ 150 Which is actually my minimum “very little debt” payment. If, after subtracting the very little debt, is the amount would be $ 0, and affects how much I can borrow for a house. Credit Counseling and / or debt consolidation will not work for me at all I already own my own business (NO SIR GIFTS) by working at my home, and just today, I started to promote the business on MySpace. I know this part do not belong in this category – but it looks like I am probably going to need to sell more gifts. There is more information on Store. NOSirGifts. com and MySpace. com / nosirgifts. After checking my numbers for November and assuming nothing goes wrong, my minimum “very little debt” payments will be $ 110 and income increase of $ 30 since I am getting promoted at my second job (making $ 730/mo.) This may or may not work with a $ 600 down paymentThe “silent co-singer” is my late mother. I may have to use her estate since I am in charge of her estate.

Michael Vick: should he be allowed back into the NFL?

What are your thoughts? I think he has served his time, he needs to be counseled and therefore needs to serve some community service at a animal shelter that specializes in rehabilitating pit bulls. He has paid his debt to society and should be free to pursue his true talent – the market will dictate Whether patrons would support him or not. He needs to surround himself with true friends instead of hanger ons who are not really interested in his personal development but want the benefit of his professional success.