What would you do about this marriage in a financial mess?
Okay, so my husband always handled the bills since the beginning of the 13 yr marriage. He let it get way out of control buying himself way too much. Now, after the credit debt is paid each month, there is no money left. I have not even looked at everything yet, but I know there is just btwn 40 to 50.000 in credit card debt. He is paying minimum payments, other bills are still getting paid, but I’m tired of handing him my checks (work full-time make 36k). He makes a little more than me but I Provide medical / dental so it evens out, but at the time he made some of the purchases, he had a 2nd job, Which was just for extra money to buy HIS HIS extra things. It seems things are more important than family. I do not add debt, I’m not a compulsive shopper like him. I do not want to be making him look rich while the kids and I do without. Should I cut my losses now, or is there a way to make him pay for his Overspending, etc. without affecting me, so I can feel like I’m in a partnership, and not just being taken advantage of. I really resent him for it. Is there any free credit counseling that will help consolidate, etc? Are there any other options?
well fist thing first those credit cards need to be cut up like NOW!!!
I guess if you have a house you can probably consolidate.
good luck I hope you put some money away for yourself money that he doesn’t know you have for emergencies if not start now. even of it’s a few dollars here a few dollars there.
Cut the extra spending and make a budget and stick by it. We have to be good stewards of what God allows us and yes that means $ to. God owns all the cattle on a thousand hills and the Hills too!! Praise God!! Question Do you go to Church and pay your tithes? Malachi 3
If the credit cards are in your name call them up and cancel them out. You’ll still have to make all the payments on them plus they still charge you finance charges every month. Tell your hubby that the payments needs to be raise instead of making minimum payment. They will never get paid off making minimum payments
Well first of all you need to sit him down and explain how important this issue is to you and how you are tired of spending money and just paying for him to look good . I don’t understand if you are thinking about divorce or not but if you are you can tell him that it has come that far and if he does not want to go there you would suggest he gets a handle on the spending and get the debt paid even if he has to get a 2nd job.There are credit agency’s that are non profit that can help you with the credit card debt. The other option would be if you own a house you can consolidate but i would make sure you plan to stay with him first. The other question i have is the credit cards he has ran up are they all in his name or both ? If they are just in his name your not responsible unless your on the account or as just a signer if your just a signer you can call up and get your name removed from all the accounts that will help you if you decide to get a divorce
people just don’t understand, its hard to do anything when someone else has control of everything, i do agree that credit cards should be destroyed, should u cut ur losses, i would hate to give advice on that one, thats something u will have to decide on, i know in the stateof Va. where i use to live there were plenty of places to get free help, it may be as simple as checking the yellow pages to find one in ur area. good luck sweetie
I don’t know how helpful this is my friend, but I will give it a try. (coming from someone who currently supports her husband AND his girlfriend..lol).
Tell him to get out ALL of the debts, credit cards, loans, whatever he has spent money he didn’t have on. Sit down at the table and sort them out and ask him which one’s he truly believes you benefit from. Those that you agree to (and by the sounds of it there wont be any) you can put in a “combined” pile.
Get out your monthly bills such as electricity etc. Tell him that you are now only going to pay half of these bills plus half of any debts you have personally benefit from. If he wants to carry on a relationship where he spends without your permission, he might as well learn to budget his own money for it. So he will now be responsible for half of the bills, and HIS debts. You will have your paycheck to pay your half of the bills and then get what ever you and your kids need. If you are really lucky you may even be able to make an example of him by saving all the money you previously had to pay out on him and taking you and your kids on a holiday!!
I agree with the other suggestions. Get your name off all of his debts. No joint credit cards etc. If you feel the need for one, then get your own and you manage it solely.
I realise that this sounds awfully hard and indicates living in a split relationship. But hasn’t he done that already by not allowing you to have a say in your family’s finances? At least this way if the marriage does end (which I hope sincerely it doesn’t), you have already sorted out your end of the finances, so you can walk away confident.